Ill Concieved Plans Poorly executed

EGCC Newsletter Fourty Three

THE PORTLAND PROJECT:

This story begins some time towards the beginning of last year with my first visit to the place they call Portland. It was a day spent climbing at the cuttings within the company of Pete and Angela (and yes I hear you ask this is the trip that earnt Pete the honour of receiving the wings award, but that's another story.) This was not only my first trip to Portland but my first trip at climbing on bolts, so I was duly sent up The Sod which was fine no probs there, but on the way down I spotted the line of bolts to my right and a line that was just calling to me to be climbed but a quick look at the guide book soon put me off of doing such a stupid thing so we moved on, but the seeds of temptation had been sown and the route would be remembered for another day.

TIME PASSES. and some time in the summer I was lucky enough to sneak away for a day trip with Roger this involved a very quick top roping attempt at the route to the right of The Sod, Mindmeld. I didn't even come close to nailing but wow what a route, the appetite was wetted and there was no way this route would not get done......... one day.

THE PRESENT.. OK as most of you know Darren and myself have recently come back from a 3 week climbing trip that mainly involved climbing on bolted Limestone, and with the weather being as good as it has been in recent weeks it was time for the first trip of the year to Portland with the visions of coming and conquering Mindmeld. The weather was not as good as it could have been but considering it was the middle of Feb. we couldn't really complain to much, so the five of us Stuart, James, Gareth, Amanda and myself set about warming up and getting into the swing of things couple of climbs latter and I was ready to go for it... could I do it??

Ha fat chance if it spat me of once it spat me of countless times, but having sussed out all the moves and feeling dejected and suffering from a lack of skin on fingers it was time to call it quits on climbing it this time but this just made me more confidant.. (some people call it pig ignorance) same thing really.

THE FOLLOWING WEEK(1).. the weather was perfect for climbing so Tony, Agg, Darren and myself went to Portland, Thinking to myself that this was the day when it would go I was psyched and ready to attack, a quick warm up lead and Bam I was going to do it I could visualise it, taste it, in my head it was done,... Did I do it???

Did I F**k,

this climb was beginning to become a bit of a nemesis I could get through the first crux but I would run out of steam going through the second... Oh to be weak and feeble it was pathetic, If you were there you would have seen a grown man cry. 2nd attempt.. run out of steam, 3rd attempt.. run out of steam, there wasn't a 4th attempt as even I was beginning to think this is a bit like dogging a route, so Darren and myself went of to play on the boulders instead.

THE FOLLOWING WEEK(2).. Right, OK, for the last two weeks I have been doing nothing other then thinking about this climb and how it has chewed me up and spat me out, this was going to be it, this was going to be the week that I got it and If I didn't then that was it I wouldn't go near it for 6 months. So Eddie, Jo, Amanda and myself set off for, yes you've guessed another day trip to the cuttings. Same routine as last time, a quick warm up and then attack. OK I'm at the bottom of Mindmeld feeling good, I pull through the first couple of moves no problem, get to the first crux no problem feeling good have a quick chalk up and reach the next crux, pulling of two crimps and pushing off of two smears I go for the top hold and catch it but just barely, can I get my feet up???

See last weeks answer.

OK now I'm feeling a might peed off as you do, I come down and strip the climb sitting at the bottom seething and staring at the problem as if that's going to make it easier. A quick breather and I was ready to go again, ( talk about putting a square peg in a round hole ), this was it the last attempt for glory before turning my back on the cursed climb. As before the first few moves felt good, the first crux felt good, a bit more chalk, take the crimps and smears and Bam pop for the top.. Did I make it??

Finally Yes I made it with a big cheesy grin plastered all over my face. At last I could rest in peace and relax, but what did I spy as I was walking along the bottom past one of the arrets but a new project, a look in the guide book and I'm thinking I may be here some time. See you in 6 months or a year or maybe 2 or possibly 3

Mark

Boulder Puppy's Big Adventure

See Boulder Puppy walk!

See Boulder Puppy sit!

See Boulder Puppy walk again!

See Boulder Puppy pant!

Boulder Puppy (a newly coined name that is sticking particularly well) was one of the party of Adrian, Tony, Ag, Darren, Eddie, Lars that went to Scotland with shiny axes and shiny crampons and shiny boots and shiny everything.

See Boulder Puppy's nose shine!

Day one was a long walk to Creag Meagaidh where the wind was ferocious and cold and discretion was the better part of valour. 'You're all doomed if ye gae up there!' said three dour Scots. We were minded to agree.

See Boulder Puppy run!

Day two was a shorter walk to Coire an t-Sneachda, where the weather was foul and everyone did a route (Haston's, Patey's Route and the Runnel) and Eddie became particularly well acquainted with a big wet cornice. So Darren's first ice route was a IV,5 ** and we got to drop a rope to help out the party behind.

See Boulder Puppy wag his tail!

Day three was a long walk up the Ben to the CIC hut, in the company of 40 Spaniards. And then there was a mutiny, because the clouds cleared and everyone could see how far it was to the foot of the routes and how big some of the cornices were. So Ag and Tony went for a walk to the top, Lars and Eddie drank coffee in Fort William and Adrian and Darren went cragging in Glen Nevis in the sunshine.

See Boulder Puppy scamper!

Day four was a cable car ride and a walk to Aonach Mor, where it got hot and soggy and time slipped away and then it was better to be somewhere else.

Bad Boulder Puppy! Now you've made Adrian cross!

Still, the bum slide down was a laugh and cheered Adrian up a bit.

See Boulder Puppy slide! What fun!

Adrian.

New Zealand Volcanoes

Having climbed a number of volcanoes in Ecuador some years back I vowed to be somewhat more circumspect when future opportunities arose. And indeed, I was until I got to New Zealand last December. North Island has a number of volcanoes, mostly active, and so to get high you need to climb a, you guessed it, volcano. Since I was hoping to climb Mount Cook when I got to South Island there was little choice if I wanted a modicum of acclimatisation in advance.

The Tongariro Crossing, one of the more popular day traverses in New Zealand, gave me my chance since it passes both Mount Tongariro (1,967m) and the higher Mount Ngarauhoe (2,291m). So, leaving Jill sleeping in a luxury hotel at Whakapapa, well nearly since she did have to get up and drive me to the start at 6.30 am, I started the crossing in nice clear weather. It was probably something to do with the early start, but very soon I seemed to be in front of the pack and was looking at the steep chossy NW face (that is if volcanoes have faces) of Ngarauhoe. Supposedly there were wands marking the 'track' but these soon disappeared, probably on account of the mobile scree, and I was making my own path. Now at 35 degrees or so fine volcanic scree tends to be hard going, and I should have known this! Undeterred though I ploughed on, my boots gradually filling with fine dust, and with upwards motion just discernible.

Still, the view was good and progress of sorts was being made. Fortunately, just as going up became nearly impossible (volcanoes tend to get steeper nearer the top, but they can still have plenty of fine scree!) a judicious traverse to a dyke (the geological kind of course) made the going easier. The impressive fuming crater with its fine views was eventually reached, but it was not long before the notorious bad weather common to this region started to move in. In fact it was raining and visibility was down to 50 or so meters by the time I reached the col. Even if I had wanted to turn back this was no longer an option, since Jill was to meet me at the end of the Crossing and she would be less than amused if I failed to turn up!

So in increasingly poor conditions I ploughed on. Since I was wet and had some spare time I also took in the second summit of Tongariro, but there was nothing to see there, except a couple of New Zealanders eating their lunch in near zero visibility. A little more acclimatisation I thought as I ploughed my way back down to the track and began the long descent via the Ketetahi hut to the roadhead. Typically the weather cleared up as I descended and Jill was almost sunbathing when I reached the car!

Well another two volcanoes chalked up. The question is will there be more?

Derek 16th March 2002

Life up North (it's grim!!)

It's been a few months since I last saw everyone (except for Louise and co) so I'd thought I'd drop you a line to tell you what I've been up to. Firstly I have been indulging in the black art of bouldering since the new year as firstly it's too cold to go routing, secondly it's too much hassle placing gear and thirdly carrying all the gear to the crag is a pain in the bottom. However as soon as the weather gets warmer, I may convert back again!! I have also found a new place to live for the next academic year at 50 Empire Road in S7!! I will be living down the road from Johnny Dawes and Lucy Creamer lives just off Empire Road!! The worrying thing is that everyone in the house is climbing E4 and above except me but I'll soon drag them down to my level!!

Talking of the Dawes, we were harassed by him on New Year's eve in the Broady. He was wondering round pinching pints and generally being obnoxious (no change there then!!). He spent a lot of time trying to chat up a girl member of the club. However the first question, Lynn (for that is her name) asked was "how big is your knob then!!". To which he answered "Not that big, but it's what you do with it that matters!!". I could carrying on chatting about the Dawes because theres a lot of rumours flying around the climbing community especially about phallic pieces of gritstone but as this is a family magazine, I'll stop there!! (Ring for details!!)

Anyway, being a poor student is great, most of my week is spent hitching around the Peak District with a boulder mat and no money!! My bank balance is exceptionally low but I can climb a lot harder!! Any donations are welcomed!!(joke!!) I do also get very cheap entry to the Foundry!! I can't beat one of my new housemates, who has discovered where the key to the School room (top Sheffield training wall for superstars!!) is hidden and now trains where Ben and Jerry go (without them knowing!!) This housemate also decided to pinch some crutches and start to use them to walk around with so his leg muscles would waste away and he would be able to climb harder but decided to give up eventually as it took him twice as long to get to the crag!!

We have been attending the Ape index lectures which are quite enjoyable especially the John Dunne one which almost kicked off as Johnny Dawes and Richie Patterson were getting quite aggressive until Mr Dunne said that he was really concerned about having two blokes of 5 foot 4 inches starting on him! ! There was so much stick given by various Sheffield climbers about Dunney not having done Parthian Shot to which he came back with some good answers and gave as good as he got!! Hoorah for pie eaters!!

Anyway, I'd better stop boring you all with tales of famous climbers behaving badly and I look forward to seeing you all in the Peaks at some stage. I'll be the scruffy one with a boulder mat and ill fitting clothes!!

See you all soon

Andy (Donkey boy) Chapman