Ill Concieved Plans Poorly executed

Tatsfield 5 Mile Road Race

I was lured to Tatsfield with the promise of a free meal and a race entry, Loopy my erstwhile training partner and faithful canine companion didn't have a choice. Angela on the other hand had definitely wanted to enter. She seemed determined to run if only to find out what this running thing was all about. She set about training and I promptly retired to my deathbed with a cold, at least that would even things up a bit.

The run was a very village affair. All the local clubs were represented; from the mothers and toddlers doing a two and a half mile walk through the guides and scouts doing the two and a half mile run and on to the rest of us doing the five miles. I weighed up the entrants at the start line. The keen ones up front some old heads in the middle and a few nervous debutantes at the back. Loopy checked too, she was in a one-dog race. She had won, not that she knew what was going on, she was just lavishing the attention.

After a short race briefing along the lines of "I hope the one in front knows where he is going as the rest of you will be following him" we were off. Angela and I had decided beforehand that running together was a silly idea that would lead to frustration, arguments and quite possibly mental anguish. This didn't stop her yelling "you swine!" as I bolted up the road trying not to get loopy's lead caught in the other competitors legs. Tatsfield is a little hilly; the first mile was all uphill. That sorted out the men from the wheezing slobs. Unfortunately Loopy couldn't keep up with the men as I was wheezing at the other end of the lead. The next mile was down hill, which was nice, unless you have a loping greyhound pulling you along. I was accused of having an unfair advantage several times, So? Last time I looked Greyhounds where not on the banned list. The final half-mile of the first circuit is a bit lumpy. It was also my walk home from primary school but there was little time to revel in nostalgia before we hit the crowd, the village green and the start of the second circuit.

Halfway round the second circuit I hit a problem, Loopy wanted to "do a Paula" only a little more solid. I had prepared for the situation with a selection of plastic bags but it's a bit gauling cleaning up after your training partner whilst losing precious seconds. Even worst is running along with a little bag of indescribable waste. I really didn't want to finish clutching a little black bag. Luckily for me there was a dog bin just before the finish line.

We crossed the line and Loopy was instantly descended on by well wishers. She even had her picture taken for the local paper. I just stood there and sweated, playing second fiddle to my training partner again. Angela arrived a few minuets later complete with a big grin. She even said that she might do another one. Sometime. Sometime in the indeterminate future.